Off chemotherapy week

This week and next week, Jason is off the chemotherapy. Next chemotherapy session is on June 10, 2010.
He's doing alright..most of the time he's in a OK mood.
He still retches time to time..I don't know if this retching and vomiting will ever go away..
Sometimes I feel that part of his retching and vomiting may be behavioral, not totally for medical reasons..Sometimes it looks like he's doing it to get attention or to get what he wants. Good example is when he's upset. When I (or my husband) step away from Jason for a little bit to do something real quick (like going to the bathroom ^^) then he will be upset and cry then he will retch and if he's not consoled right away, then he will vomit. In the oncology clinic, when he sees nurses and doctors then he gets scared and upset.. of course then he will retch and vomit.
Well, when he vomits, it's not that gross..^^ because he has now GJ tube so his formula ends up in his small intestine.. so his stomach has nothing.. but water that he drinks (he drinks too much water.. which can be a problem so we're closely watching...) and some mucus..
so that's all he vomits all the time... water and mucus.. easier to clean up and less messy ^^ but I am sure it will make him equally uncomfortable.

Jason still can't walk or stand up.. and this makes me worry so much..
We have to get the physical therapy back on board but I don't know if he can tolerate now because he didn't tolerate well before. A physical therapist from the county's EI (early intervention) comes to our house once a week but she can't do anything with Jason because Jason will not let her even come close to him.
I fear that Jason's leg muscles get even weaker and may not walk again...T.T He was such an active boy before. He started walking when he was 11 months old.. and he was going up and down the stairs and going every where.. I miss those days..

Since Jason had problems with feeding (and now his brain tumor) my family basically became the prisoners of our own home. We don't get to go out to go to church, to eat at a restaurant or to visit our friends anymore. It's quite difficult to take Jason out due to many reasons. It's been almost 2 years since we had our family vacation. Since someone has to be with Jason pretty much all the time, my hubby and I have to rotate and eat dinner at different times. We don't get much family time together since my husband works mon-fri and I work fri-sun overnight. I feel sorry for Michelle because she probably feels left out often times.
The only thing that we do as family these days is going to a nearby park/playgroud (Jason doesn't like this hahaha) or take a walk around the Rio shopping center while Jason's is off the feeding!. He's on 20hrs continuous GJ-tube feeding and he only gets 4 hours break from his feeding. 20 hours a day attached to a feeding pump! Even though he has a small protable feeding pump that we can carry around..it's not easy to do things with a child hooked up to a feeding pump..
Well.. too much venting today...
Well, Jason fell asleep now.. it's my chance to eat something for breakfast at 11:30!! finally!! I am sooo hungry!